I must apologise profusely for my lazy behaviour in regards to this blog. Its obviously a lifeline for a lot of you back home, and as I know you have nothing better to do with your free time it was unfairly selfish and unthoughtful of me. However, on the other hand you could look at it like this - the fact I have not been blogging on a weekly basis glued to the keyboard like a leech can only be a positive. This would only lead you to imagine I was having the most dreadful of gap year's and I am glad to report back that this could not be far from the reality of it.

I am currently in Sapa. The most breathtakingly beautiful place I have ever seen. It is a luscious green wilderness in the heart of the north vietnamese mountains. No ordinary setting I tell you, wherever you turn your head you cannot miss the flamboyantly dressed villagers bumbling down the streets. They are the most awesome of sights, the women in particular have the most extraordinarily tough skin. Irrelevant of the fact they have goods to sell hanging off every orophis of their ailing bodies, the eldery still seem to maintain their sagging skin. Their earlobes are loosely hanging on for dear life weakened by the copious amounts of jewellry strung through them. They wear embroidered garments from head to toe and look fit for a carnival every single day, although magically this is their normal gladrags and nobody seems to throw out an alternative and go against the flow. So at times it is impossible to differentiate between them!

I made a special friend moments into our arrival at 5 am this morning. As she embarked the long flight of stairs in order to bamboozle Pea and I with goods, I saw her puggish face, wrinkled to the core and her smile revealed the most haphazard alignment of gnashers I immediatley knew she was a beauty. I admired her memorabilia and conversed with her through scrunching my face in a similar manner and giggling along with her, with no other means of communicating. This is something I can quite confidently say I have mastered, the art of overcoming a potentially awkward situation by smiling, giggling or repeating back to them what they have just barked in my face in a relatively similar tone. This can suprisingly establish the most magical of relationships I promise.

Anyway, Pea and I were on form even at dusk and within an hour had arranged a moto trip for the day and a two day trek and homestay for tomorrow and the following day. I have learnt a quick decision is quintessential to maintain a calm and patient state of mind, dithering is infact abhorrent.
Now, our motorbike driver would have been the perfect companion if only he didnt ressemble Edward Scissorhands, as a result of the most repugnantly long fingernails he modelled on both hands. If truth be told, I have become aphobic to such behaviour and immediatley gives me the shivers. Something I have decided could be compared with the reaction of an aracnaphobic confronted with a daddy long legs, their disgustingly long limbs as frightening as these nails clawing in our every direction. The men here unfortunatley regard this as a fashion statement and something meant to lure the vietnamese ladies in, whilst making us British youths run a marathon in the opposite direction.
He began driving painfully slowly, refusing to even use petrol as we glided pathetically down the hills. Whilst booking this I had envisaged an adventure not far from that which is depicted in the Motorcycle Diaries, whizzed through the air, our hair blowing blissfully in the wind and the adrenaline pumping throughout the entirity of our bodies. Instead I was having to resort to nudging the poor man to put his blummin' foot down and fly us through the air. A regrettable move we learnt moments later as he turned into a raving lunatic, speeding whilst forgetting to contemplate all blind corners, gulfs in the road and the snorting pigs lining the paths. We were full of fear for our lives and I could hardly see the landscape (as I couldnt help furrowing in the back of his jumper to avoid recieving hefty chunks of the road or dust in my eyeballs) let alone appreciate it.

Luckily on the way down the mountains however we witnessed the stunning reality of Sapa. The never ending rice paddies, buffallo irrigating the ladn. The men and women bent low amongst the reads, some even supporting babies on their backs. This is the sweetest site imaginable, the midges wrap themselves around and around in material until they can successfully create a cocoon for their offspring to nest in whilst they work the land. Their babies seem never to touch the ground and blissfully they see the entirity of the world through a gap in the threading. An existence I would die for. Babies are everywhere, and our moto guide was on strict rules to stop the engine (if he bothered to run it) in order for us to snap as many pudgy, balls of baby blubber as humanly possible. I cannot wait to show you all the photo's, fit to make the most reluctant of mothers dangerously brooooooody.

Now, in order to assure I will not lose one of my three loyal blogging followers, I will end this entry here to avoid exruciating boredom. But if the main purpose of this travelling blog is to translate to those on the other end of this rotting computer that I am both safe and well. If ony this has been achieved that's enough, as I feel high spirited, well rested and positively humming with excitement for tomorrow and after the trekking our expedition to Laos.

Missing you all keep me posted on your news too xxxxxxxxxxx